In this special Father's Day edition of the Saturday Morning Muse, Andrew Temte reflects on the essential role of fathers in shaping their children's lives. He shares a top 10 list of skills that every dad should focus on, emphasizing the importance of self-love, emotional intelligence, and financial literacy. Temte encourages fathers to embrace their journey of continuous improvement and to model these skills for their children, highlighting that being a dad is a lifelong learning experience.

The challenge we face is that critical thinking is hard. The easy path is to not question, not ask ‘why,’ and not dig for deeper meaning and root cause. The more difficult, but ultimately more rewarding path is to challenge fixed belief systems, internal biases, and recognize that when we deflect and point fingers at others, three more are pointing right back at us.

I fear that we are becoming anesthetized to what would be considered vicious, uncivil, unacceptable, and unproductive discourse to a prudent, independent observer.

I propose that when we teach and coach the human skill of integrity, we must also add the words empathy, compassion, and understanding. As a result, the definition of integrity can be simplified to: Integrity: Compassionately doing the right thing.

Far too often, when confronted with a challenge, we talk. We talk to deflect. We talk because we don’t know what else to do. We talk to release nervous energy. To make matters worse, when we start talking, we usually start relaying a story of a similar challenge that’s happened to us. The individual who’s going through the challenge doesn’t want to hear about our suffering or similar situation, they want to be heard.

Applied in a business context, a team that possesses a strong sense of balance performs well under pressure and is not buffeted nearly as violently by the winds of change and external competitive pressures compared to a team that lacks a keen sense of balance. But what does balance look like in business?

In my opinion, the minimum acceptable height of “the bar” is to be a decent human. You see, it’s in times of great stress and conflict that the words I live by come into play the most. When the going gets tough, sometimes everything boils down to a fairly basic choice—to be a decent human being, or allow base instinct and ego to take over and say/do things that I’ll regret later. “Andy, just be a decent human being right here, right now.” But what does decency mean? Let’s explore.

Unfortunately, we avoid talking about self love because it’s a deeply personal subject and carries with it a stigma. A label that self love is too fuzzy and squishy. A label that you’re somehow showing weakness if you discuss self love. In my opinion, we need to elevate discussions of self love because respecting and loving oneself is the foundation upon which all other relationships rest.

Put as simply as possible, this is empathy—the willingness and ability to take oneself out of their own view of a situation and to ask how the other party feels about it. So if you’re looking for a quick tip on how to improve your empathy skills, use this simple question: “I wonder how ___ feels about x?”

You might be asking, what does this have to do with business? The answer is that organizational health relies heavily on the net giver status of the employee population. If everyone is operating as a net taker, then team dynamics will suffer, fiefdoms will be built, and everyone will be looking over their shoulder for the next jab in the back. Trust cannot flourish in a net taker environment. In contrast, if you foster a culture of net giving, then alignment around goals becomes easier, teamwork and collaboration become the norm, and the success of the organization becomes a shared mindset.

As a global society, let’s use the Holiday Season to reflect on how we approach interactions with our fellow cosmic travelers. When alignment is a challenge and viewpoints don’t seamlessly calibrate, seek first to understand—not immediately jump to tearing others down who don’t share our opinions or worldview.

If more of us seek to understand, we will continue to make progress toward a more equitable, diverse, and inclusive future state.

However, in the long-term, healthy work relationships and cultures depend on routinely exercising the kindnesses of constructive feedback, active listening, and transparency.