My Top Ten List of Dad Skills
I’m Andy Temte and welcome to the Saturday Morning Muse! Start your weekend with musings that are designed to improve financial literacy around the world. Today is June 14, 2025.
Before we continue our history lessons on the origins of money, I’d like to pause and wish all the fathers out there a happy Father’s Day weekend! While dads routinely get teased for their dad jokes and dad bods, being a father is the joy of a lifetime, and is also serious business.
Fathers are first and foremost role models to their children, and as an extension, the community. Fathers are educators. Fathers turn words into action. Fathers model the traits and skills that are needed for social and workplace success.
So to celebrate, here’s my “top ten” list of the skills and traits fathers should focus on adopting, developing, and modeling:
Self Love. Everything starts here. If you don’t love the person you are, if you’re not at peace with yourself, if you don’t understand your reason for being—your purpose—it’s not possible to bring your best, whole self to your work, family, and community. Period. If you’ve been on an airplane and have paid attention to the pre-flight safety briefings, the importance of self love is akin to putting your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.
Constructive Vulnerability. The traditional view that fathers shouldn’t show emotion, admit failure, or allow themselves to show any kind of weakness is complete BS. Clunking through life wearing an emotional suit of armor—keeping everything bottled up and not letting anyone else see the real you—is a surefire way to allow unhealthy behaviors to boil over. To be human is to be imperfect. Dads need a sense of humor and the ability to laugh at and with themselves.
Integrity. Great dads model integrity. Dads do the right thing, even when no one is looking. Dads are honest and hold themselves accountable for their actions. Dads take the moral high ground. They are reliable, consistent, and dependable. They show respect for others—especially toward women.
Compassion. Compassion is a big word that’s often misunderstood. Compassion is empathy—the ability to understand and share the feelings of others—plus the willingness to do something about their challenges, plus the ability to emotionally detach and not allow the feelings of others to become your own. This last bit, the ability to emotionally detach, is really hard when it comes to your children!
Grit. Dads are resilient. They are determined. They are persistent. They are courageous. Dads know that life is full of tough sledding. They teach their children that life is not exclusively filled with rainbows, unicorns, and puppy dogs.
Industriousness. While dads get a bad rap for naps on the couch and nodding off at church, great dads earn that reputation through their strong work ethic and industriousness. They show others how to add value in the workplace, at home, and in the community.
Emotional Intelligence. This is a big one. Emotional intelligence is an entire social and emotional skill toolkit filled with sub-skills like self-regulation, situational awareness, active listening, self-motivation, and self-awareness. For example, self-awareness is a necessary condition to achieving—self love. To love the self, a dad must be willing and able to tune into their own feelings, thoughts, and actions. Self-awareness is developed through self-reflection and personal discovery.
Decision Making. Great dads know that their children are the product of their upbringing—when decisions are made for them—and the stack of decisions they make once they have agency to make them for themselves. Modeling good decision-making through the use of logic, critical thinking, data collection, analysis, and evaluation of available options will help your children develop these skills, and will help them advance more quickly once they’re on their own.
Lifelong Learning. Dads know that learning never stops. They invest in their children’s education and are their greatest cheerleaders throughout their lifetime of learning.
Financial Literacy. It should be no surprise that our “top ten list of dad skills” ends with financial literacy. Great dads are responsible with money, understand how to save and invest, know the appropriate use of debt, and teach their children how to make good decisions about their personal economy. I encourage all dads to continue to build their financial literacy skills and encourage their children to learn about money and the economy.
So that’s my top ten list of dad skills. Being a dad is the ultimate lifelong learning journey. The vast majority of new dads don’t have all these skills fully developed—it’s an aspirational list that I’ve developed with the full benefit of hindsight as I’m now a grandfather! New dads will likely look at this list amidst the chaos of welcoming a newborn into their lives and say “ya right, that’s a pretty daunting list!” My response is that you have time to develop and grow along with your children. You’re in this together!!
I also want to show constructive vulnerability and admit my personal failings as a father. Have I steadfastly adhered to my own advice? No. Am I committed to a journey of continuous improvement as a father? Absolutely.
For my two boys who are now grown men—thank you for showing me what unconditional love means. My chest swells with pride whenever I think about the strong, confident individuals you’ve become.
Have fun this weekend with your family, relish all the silly and sappy Father’s Day cards, coffee mugs, socks, and ties. Remember that being a dad is the most important role you’ll play in this life.
Grace. Dignity. Compassion.
